140. Response
I’m pretty sure I’m way off here, because I’ve not been really really paying attention, but this is a sort of summary of the responses I’ve heard. (ETA: That fun moment when gender is defined by who we sleep with, and penises change our sexuality. Good stuff.)
What weird responses have you had to your relationships?
Me: everyone else and partner: male defines my life. I am not straight – LET ME BE PANSEXUAL AND ALL THE GENDERS DAMNIT WORLD.
I can relate. Ugh.
Lest we forget that this based mostly on how society would gender us. Can’t tell you how many people are trying to label me as lesbian now that my only boyfriend is also trans. You know me, Lotte. I’m SO not butch so that stereotype wouldn’t work xD Lest we forget that I’m pan FUCK & LOVE ALL THE GENDERS ;D
eh, I just get filed under “gay, but weird.” I did identify as gay still for a few months after I started identifying as genderfluid, now I just identify as queer :/
Regarding the poly thing, I’ve had people patiently try to explain to me that, if someone really, actually loves their partner, they wouldn’t love someone else, and therefore if they love someone else, they don’t really, actually love their partner.
-confused blink-
They explain it as if you’re not poly and thus that isn’t an insult to you? I always tell people off for things like that since they are telling me I’m not ACTUALLY in love by saying that.
Yes, because they are not only the experts on what love is – especially when it comes to other people – but completely in a position to place a limitation on other people’s emotions.
The trans-man and trans-genderqueer-femme-leaning pairing was interesting… Apparently we were a straight couple but no one could agree on who was which.
Once people figure out that I have two partners and that we share a bed, the #1 most common question is “Who sleeps in the middle?” Equally common is assuming that the person with the penis sleeps in the middle (not true).
Never MIND if folks find out that the relationship is open…
“Oh, I sleep in the middle, they’re left and they’re right, but there’s room in the bottom if you come by some night”?
<3
Oh…Money makes the world go round, the world go round, the world go round….
I’m not sure how much this counts, but on one occasion I was talking to a friend of mine about how I was worried that my girlfriend and her boyfriend might be fighting, and this conversation happened:
“But isn’t that good?”
“…no?”
“Well, if they break up, that just leaves you, right?”
“…that…that’s not how it works.”
Most people assume I can’t be open to men and women because i am married to a man and have kids. i have run into this exact situation. people can be so closed minded!
This is a rather tangential one, but wtf 🙂
I’m a straight, Christian, monogamous and engaged man.
I was also privileged to be a part of a truly open discussion/life story telling session re. relationships with a group of poly & bi friends.
After I’d taken my turn, one of them (who fitted/fits in both categories) said to me “Wow. I actually understand why some other people might want to be in monogamous relationships!” It made me smile so much, and I will never forget it.
Some of my best friends are straight and monogamous. 🙂
“I’m concerned my partner and his wife aren’t having sex often enough. It makes me feel like a replacement.”