Me teaching sex ed is a horrifying thought. I’d take like thirty seconds over it.
“Look, the basic mechanics are incredibly straight forward and you’ve all seen porn, nobody needs to be told how to put on a condom it is literally impossible to do it wrong, talk to your partner so you can find out when – not if – you fuck it up, if you’re doing anal for the love of god go slow, finger, and use fucktonnes of lube, if things go *really* wrong suck it up and talk to your GP, anything else you’ll have to work out by experiment. Oh, that reminds me, it’s not a race, unless it is.” And then I would have to stop on account of being fired.
I nearly swallowed my tongue laughing at this! That is awesome. The purple hanky refers to temporary or play piercings. For example a corset piercing, but it can get much more extreme. It can be considered “edge play” in BDSM http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Play_piercing
I’m into play piercing but I think your version of the purple hanky is so, so, so, much better!
Careful, wikipedia says you’ll have people who want to have safe sex with your piercings after you.
This is why I should have done the research. 😛 I have no piercings!
Then you should flag on the other side and have safe sex with *their* piercings. *nods*
An excellent idea! Please teach sex ed?
Me teaching sex ed is a horrifying thought. I’d take like thirty seconds over it.
“Look, the basic mechanics are incredibly straight forward and you’ve all seen porn, nobody needs to be told how to put on a condom it is literally impossible to do it wrong, talk to your partner so you can find out when – not if – you fuck it up, if you’re doing anal for the love of god go slow, finger, and use fucktonnes of lube, if things go *really* wrong suck it up and talk to your GP, anything else you’ll have to work out by experiment. Oh, that reminds me, it’s not a race, unless it is.” And then I would have to stop on account of being fired.
*puts condom on nose in hope of not having babies*
Seee I did it wrong! 😛
Haha, I think you’re probably unlikely to get knocked up if you wear a condom on your nose, though, amirite??
I nearly swallowed my tongue laughing at this! That is awesome. The purple hanky refers to temporary or play piercings. For example a corset piercing, but it can get much more extreme. It can be considered “edge play” in BDSM http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Play_piercing
I’m into play piercing but I think your version of the purple hanky is so, so, so, much better!